Monthly Archives: August 2011

PR facepalms: so you’ve just decided to become an iOS app developer …

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Lessons from this RTG Ventures press release:

Don’t say: 

“We’re a couple of years behind, but we just expanded into offering iOS and Ruby-based mobile app development. Better late than never, right? We can’t build Android or Blackberry apps yet, but we will, eventually.”

Say: 

“RTG Ventures, Inc. (OTCQB: RTGV) has entered the thriving mobile app and web app development markets after its wholly-owned subsidiary, Digital Clarity, became an official iOS developer and extended its web development operations to include Ruby on Rails web app development. The mobile app market is currently worth $6.8 billion and is growing at nearly 30 per cent per annum. / Though currently focused on Apple’s iOS Developer program, Digital Clarity will be extending its capability further to include the Google Android app market as well as focused RIM/Blackberry applications.”

If anyone who ever tried its hand at building an iPhone app for himself or his clients would boast about “entering a market currently worth $6.8 billion” like it means anything, I’d be facepalming a lot.

Hey, I just started selling fresh orange juice in front of my house – I’ve entered the retail market! It’s a zillion dollar industry, folks! I’m an official orange juice seller! I’ll be extending my capabilities further to include apple juice as well as focused strawberry juice.

Which potential rock star wants my @YouRockGuitar?

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I got this digital You Rock Guitar from a PR rep a while ago. It’s pretty cool, but I’m not doing anything with it so if it can make you a happy camper, why not take it off my hands?

The box was opened, and I spent about 15 minutes playing it on one drunken night, but apart from that, it’s never been used.

Everything that was in the box still is, and it’s not broken. If you want to have it, you can come pick it up at my house (send me a direct message on Twitter or contact me in another way so I know who I’m dealing with) – free of charge, obviously.

Although if you insist on bringing me cookies, you have my permission.